Reflections on 2008

When I look back on 2008, I think about change. We saw the election of the first black President, an event that most of us though we'd never live to see. We also saw the collapse of the economy and homophobia and discrimination in its purest form with the passage of Proposition 8. It was year that seemed to mark the end of us vs. them politics and the "culture wars."

However, I don't think of change just because Obama drilled that word (and hope) into the national consciousness, but because it has occurred time and time again in my own life throughout the year.

My relationship status changed from boyfriend to single to boyfriend again. I escaped the domiciles of the damned (also known as on-campus living) and settled into an apartment. And I finally decided to follow my gut and ditched private piano lessons to make voice my major instrument for my music performance minor degree.

On a deeper level, I think in '08 I finally began to truly express my emotions and share more of myself with people. For years my goal in life was to not feel anything--joy, sadness, anger, nothing--because to feel anything hurt too much. I just wanted to be numb, and an emotional wall and a steady supply of weed more than helped me accomplish that goal. But over the past two years, I realized that the more I allow myself to feel emotion and not run from it, the happier I've become. In other words, I've feel like I've come full circle.

Change not only happened to me however. One of my friends is about to become a father and has gotten a place with his baby mama, while another one has moved to Houston and gotten his own place. Everyone's either in a relationship, employed (or both) and seems to be moving forward with their lives. All this has made it harder for us to get together, a big change from a few years ago when we'd spend almost everyday together. But change is a part of life. Sometimes it can be scary, as is the case with my impending graduation next year. But ultimately I think we need it. Change shakes us out of our comfort zone, makes us reexamine who we are, what we believe and what we want out of life, and helps us move into the next phase of our journey.

Hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year. See you in '09.

Random News and Notables

Pennslyvania Man Attacks Fellow Movie Goers

Think twice before shouting at the screen next time you're at the movies. James Cialella, 29 of Pennsylvania, was charged with attempted murder, agrravated assault and weapons violations for shooting a man in the arm and throwing popcorn at his son. According to CNN.com:

Cialella told the family sitting in front of him in the theater on Christmas Day to be quiet, police said.

An argument ensued while others at the Riverview Movie Theatre watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," starring Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, The Philadelphia Inquirer reported.

Cialella then approached the family from the left side of the aisle and shot the father, who was not identified, as he was standing between Cialella and his family, according to the police report.

The victim was taken to Jefferson Hospital while Cialella was taken into custody.

Goodbye and Good Riddance

Three out of four Americans are relieved President Bush is leaving office, according to a recent national poll. However, 23 percent said they will miss him (Must be rich folks).

"Earlier this year, Bush scored some of the lowest presidential approval ratings we've seen in half a century, so it's understandable that the public is eager for a new president to step in," said Keating Holland, CNN polling director.

When compared with other presidents, 28 percent rated Bush the worst president ever, with 40 percent rating his presidency as poor and 31 percent rating his time in office as good.

"President Bush's job approval rating has been at or below freezing since the beginning of the year," Bill Schneider, CNN senior political analyst said. "The current 27 percent approval rating is one of the lowest ratings for any president, ever."

Hmmm, I wonder why that is. An expensive war based on lies that caused thousands of lives to be lost. The terrible response to Hurricane Katrina. Running the economy into the ground. Treating the environment like the world's biggest garbage dump. Worst President ever: yeah that sounds about right.

Mormon Church's Statement Gives Gay Rights' Activists Hope

You mean the same Mormon church that diligently worked to deny gay people their marriage rights? Yeah that church. LDS leaders said while they oppose marriage, they are in favor of other rights for LGBT citizens.

"Just last week, Elder L. Whitney Clayton stated the LDS Church does not oppose 'civil union or domestic partnerships,'" said Equality Utah Chairwoman Stephanie Pappas on Monday. "We are taking the LDS Church at its word."

The church released a statement soon after Prop 8's passage saying they do "not object to rights for same-sex couples regarding hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights." Equality Utah plans to take them at their word by introducing five bills related to gay rights issues such as hospital visitation, medical care, housing, employment and probate rights, beginning in January 2009.

However a church spokeswoman contacted by the Associated Press had no comment for Equality Utah's plan. Guess we'll have to wait and see if the LDS church keeps their word.

CNN: Man shoots talker at movies, police say

CNN:Poll: 75% glad Bush is done

MSNBC: Mormons give gays hope for new Utah laws

R.I.P. Eartha Kitt 1927-2008

Christmas must be the day icons decide to leave us. First James Brown in 2006 and now Eartha Kitt, the legendary singer, dancer and actress, who died today at 81 of cancer. Most remember Kitt as Catwoman from the Batman series in the 60's, but she was much more that than that.

Born in South Carolina to a black and Cherokee mother and a white father, Kitt was sent to stay with relatives because her step father refused to take in a mixed race child. After moving to New York and briefly attending the High School of Performing Arts, she worked a series of odd jobs before becoming a part of the Katherine Dunham dance troupe. While dancing and singing in clubs around the world during the 1950s, she learned to sing in 12 languages, including French, Turkish and Spanish.
However Kitt could also be controversial. During a visit to the White House for a luncheon hosted by Ladybird Johnson in 1968, she bluntly told the First Lady and those present, "You send the best of this country off to be shot and maimed. "They rebel in the street. They don't want to go to school because they're going to be snatched off from their mothers to be shot in Vietnam."

Because of her anti-war stance, Kitt primarily performed overseas for four years and was investigated by the FBI and the CIA, but eventually reappeared on Broadway plays such as "Timbuktu," "Cinderella," and "The Wild Party," and continued to release music, earning her Tony and Grammy nominations.

And of course who (especially not anyone in our generation) could forget her seducing Eddie Murphy in "Boomerang." Classic. Not to mention that Ms. Kitt maintained a fierce figure well into her eighties.

Eartha had an undeniable impact and influence on entertainment and paved the way for the black female artists of today. Diana Ross--who was heavily influenced by Eartha, which is easily seen in early Supremes performances-- Donna Summer, Janet, Beyonce, all of them owe their careers to Ms. Kitt. Rest in peace Eartha.


Get into the clips below:

Merry...

Hope everyone has a safe and happy Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah or Winter Solstice, which ever you celebrate (had to make sure all my bases were covered lol:). Happy holidays.

Eye Candy: Simeon

I don't who this brother is or what he does (hell I don't even know his last name), but with those lips, biceps, back and chest he doesn't need one! Get into the pics below and bask in the glow of his chocolate goodness:

Rants and Raves: "Being Gay is A Choice"

Those are the five most infuriating words I've ever had the displeasure of hearing and/or reading when some straight folks(and I stress some 'cause not all straights are ignorant about sexuality) talk about LGBT people.

This opinion reeks of not only ignorance, but carries an air of superiority. It's like saying "Of course I didn't choose to be straight. It's so natural to me. But you attention-seeking gays just love to be dramatic, self-loathing souls who live for being damned to hell and discriminated against by society. That's why you chose to be gay.

Whenever I hear people make the choice argument with statements like "Well if they didn't want to be discriminated against they shouldn't have chosen that lifestyle," or this gem from The Daily Voice comments section on an article called 'Is Gay the New Black?: "Don't get me wrong, people are people but homosexuality (lesbianism)(bestiality) is in fact sexual perversion and as such should not be thrusted upon the general population ...You choose to be so-called "gay" so deal with it," I wanted to scream 'WHEN DID YOU CHOOSE NOT TO BE GAY' from the depths of my soul.

Sexual orientation is not like being at a damn Fire Mountain buffet after Sunday service. It's not "Oh I'm tired of freakin fish. Let me slide over here and get some beef." A virgin who has never kissed another man is just as gay as someone whose banged everyone in the local gay bar. Sexual behavior and sexual orientation are different things. Any DL man could tell you that (but they wouldn't because... well then they wouldn't be very DL:).

What's so frustrating about talking to people who feel this way, besides arguing in circles, is that if scientists proved that there was gay gene tomorrow and that homosexuality and bisexuality are inborn, they would still be against LGBT folks. Just look what Rick "I got gay friends even though I support Prop 8" Warren had to say to Ann Curry about the subject:



Now I know I've already posted about Warren, and don't mean to paint him as a totally bad guy (even though he's not helping matters). He's done lots of good in regards to poverty and AIDS, and has donated profits from his books to help others. But his positions on homosexuality and gay rights are condescending and sickening.

Bottom Line: You think gays on their way to a doomsday demise where we'll spend all eternity roasting like marshmellows in the fires of hell? Fine. That's your right. But at least have enough common sense and empathy to know NO ONE would choose a life of ridicule, potential violence, loss of friends/church/family and discrimination just because of some sexual itch they had to scratch.

Flashback: Old School Whitney

Every gay man remembers his first diva. The first female artist he sang along to on the radio, the one whose dance routines you memorized and the one you would defend to the death, no matter how much she may have fallen off. For me that person was ol' Nippy herself: Whitney Houston. Whether it was singing "Run To You" in the shower or imitating her jazz hand gestures ('cause you know Whit wasn't much of a dancer) in the mirror, I was big fan.

At this point it's hard to tell if she'll EVER come back. Her album's supposedly been "in the works" for over a year, if that song she did with Akon is any indication, it won't be the music her fans are hoping for. Now I'm not one of those who thinks Whitney's gonna come back sounding like it's 1991. Age and drugs have obviously had an affect. But doing a song with Akon. Whitney, gwarl, just don't.

One of my favorite bloggers, Clay Cane, hilariously sums up what it would take for full Whitney revival:

Also, Whitney needs to go on the Mama Oprah Show, not Diane Sawyer, Larry King, or Babs Walters — it has got to be Mama. Sit on America's favorite couch, grab Mama Oprah's hand, adjust the wig and let the tears storm! Let it all out, "I was an addict!”, "I was smoking crack!”, “Bobby Brown beat me!", “I should’ve been at the Legends Ball!” Whitney can lay her head in Mama Oprah’s bosom as she tells us the gritty stories of rolling around in a drug-induced comma, smelling like Malt Liquor and Bobby Brown's third sexual partner of the night.

Now, if Whitney really wants to rock-in the five million album sales range she will let out violent, racking sobs and say, “I was a neglectful mother.” Sit Bobbi Kristina on Oprah’s coach (hell, they did it for that awful Diane Sawyer interview!) and have Bobbi tell her story.If Whitney wants to go diamond (ten million plus) in the last segment there should be a reunion with her own mother, Cissy Houston. Mama Oprah will have a tear in her left eye as she says, "I was trying to reach you through prayer. But, now, you telling your story will save so many lives. Bravo Whit-ney Houstoooooooooon!"

White women in the audience will bawl!Black women will shake their fists at an angry sky at Bobby Brown!Women across the world will love her!Drag queens will pull out their vintage Whitney wigs!Record sales will skyrocket!This is the only way I believe Whitney could have a comeback. Otherwise, we will get a string of plastic interviews, weak vocal performances, a boring album and nail in the coffin of Whitney’s career. Clive, are you reading?

No much matter how much Bobby, blunts or baggies of coke (show me the receipts lol:) may have damaged her voice/reputation, Whitney Houston was/is one of the most amazing vocalists in pop music history. Here are some reminders in case you forgot:










Yeah I know she looks like a big string bean lol, but Whitney tears this song up.

Nobody's Perfect...

It had to happen sooner or later. For those who haven't heard, President-elect Barack Obama has picked Rick Warren, pastor of the Saddleback church and author of The Purpose Driven Life, to deliver the invocation at his inauguration. The problem? Check out Warren's views on Prop 8 and homosexuality:

Rick Warren:Oh I do. I just... For five thousand years, marriage has been defined by every single culture and every single religion - this is not a Christian issue. Buddhists, Muslims, the Jews, historically marriage is a man and a woman. And so I'm opposed to that. And the reason I supported Prop 8 really, was a free speech issue.

Because if it had.... First, the court overid the will of the people. But second, is, there were all kinds of threats that if you... that did not pass, then any pastor could be considered doing hate speech if he shared his views that he didn't think homosexuality was the most natural way for relationships. And that would be hate speech. To me, we should have freedom of speech. And you should be able to have freedom of speech to make your position, and I should be able to have freedom of speech to make my position. And can we do this in a civil way?

Here's another gem:

"The issue to me, I'm not opposed to that as much as I'm opposed to redefinition of a 5,000 year definition of marriage. I'm opposed to having a brother and sister being together and calling that marriage. I'm opposed to an older guy marrying a child and calling that marriage. I'm opposed to one guy having multiple wives and calling that marriage."

Apparently Warren has no problem spreading misinformation about what marriage equality would do to pastors' freedom of speech. Which is absolutely nothing. Or comparing homosexuality to incest, pedophilia and polygamy. But of course this is the same man who feels atheists shouldn't be president.

This is not a good move for Obama. After running a campaign under a banner of inclusiveness and understanding, choosing Rick Warren comes off as an insult. How can you be a fierce advocate of LGBT rights but also invite a man who sees our sexuality and relationships as second rate? Who spreads lies about legislation that can make our lives easier? Oh well. The honeymoon had to end sometime. I guess it just ended a little earlier for LGBT folks.

Here's some video proof if the quotes don't convince you:

Albums That Changed My Life: Anti-Christ SuperStar

Marilyn who? Anti- say WHAT? Yes, you read right. While I love R&B, Hip Hop and dance music, I am also a metalhead. I first crossed over to the metal side in high school. While most of my friends were only playing rap and nothing else, I was busy banging my head to Metallica, Killswitch Engage, Slipknot, Korn, System of a Down, and of course Marilyn Manson.

Although I knew some of the band's earlier music like "The Dope Show," I was a little too young at the time to really get into them. That and the fact I discovered Madonna in junior high. Ironically, I really became interested in Manson's music through the WWE, who used "The Beautiful People," as their opening song. The sheer wierdness of the track caught my attention (Like A Prayer it wasn't), and I knew I had to get Anti-Christ Superstar.

It may sound crazy now, but at the time I was little scared to buy the album. Manson's stuff isn't exactly mainstream, and the Columbine tragedy had given his persona an almost sinister, forbidden aura. When I finally got the nuts to purchase the album, I meekly slid the cd case to the cashier, careful not to make eye contact, lest they think I was a demon or was planning a night of black magic.

As I listened to the album, one thought kept popping up: What the HELL did I just buy? It was a bizarre mix of eerie samples, thunderous guitars, creepy background voices and of course the stylings of Manson himself, which alternated between piercing screams, hissing and whispering.

Part of me wanted to throw off the headphones, but part of me wanted to keep listening. It felt like a journey I had to see through the end, no matter how scary, like a horror-movie version of Alice in Wonderland.

Well I fell headlong into the rabbit hole and haven't been back since. For months afterward, I listened to album over and over again, understanding more and more of its concept of the its protagonists' transformation from a weak, passive follower (Wormboy) to a superhuman, megalomanic (Anti-Christ Superstar).

Anti-Christ Superstar marked the beginning stages of my spiritual evolution, as I started to think critically about religion and Christianity in particular. Although it would take years for these ideas to grow, the seeds had been planted.

My fascination went beyond the music. From the album's cover art, to the Dead to The World Tour stage show (thank God for the Internet:), to the music videos for the singles, the entire thing was Gesamtkunstwerk, a total work of art.

Although my Manson mania has subsided a bit since then, I can still see how the album has had an influence on my life.

After last week's conversation with my mother and the feelings it aroused, a line from "Man That You Fear," the album's closing track, came to mind: "The boy that you loved is the man that you fear."

Anti-Christ Superstar served as my spiritual re-awakening. Funny, it took a self-proclaimed Anti-Christ to make me discover God for myself. Get into some video clips below:



marilyn manson - the beautiful people
by radatdailymotion




Marilyn Manson Tourniquet
by korhead


Here's a funny clip with Manson from Clone High (Remember MTV before reality shows took over? *sigh*)



Marilyn Manson - The Food Pyramid
by DarKwon

News and Notables

Senate Republicans Stall Car Industry Bailout

The loan package for the auto industry fell flat in Congress Thursday when Senate Republicans would not cooperate on a compromise plan. The Daily Voice reports:

"The $14 billion proposal would have provided direct aid to General Motors and Chrysler, both of which said they needed the money by the end of December. Ford has said it does not need immediate financial assistance but may need help next year. Auto sales have plummeted during the recession that began last December, and even Japanese auto makers like Honda and Toyota have reported sharp declines in sales in the last quarter."

Republicans and Democrats clashed over efforts to bring 'The Bring Three's labor costs equal with Nissan and Toyota's wages, with Democrats agreeing to meet the foreign companies' costs, but not at the timetable demanded by Republicans.

Jesse Jackson Jr.: "I want my name back"

U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. defended his reputation on Friday after being identified as 'Senate Candidate 5' in a criminal complaint against Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, who attempted to offer favors and campaign contributions in exchange for Senate seat appointments. Jackson, a six-term Democratic congressman from Chicago, has made no secret of wanting to take Obama's vacant Senate seat, but explained he only met with Blagojevich to present his credentials.

"While I would be honored to serve the people of this state, it is clear to me that I am no capacity to serve them if there is a cloud over my head that seems to suggest that I am involved in some unscrupulous scheme to be a United States senator or anything else," Jackson told CNN's Don Lemon.

Jackson said he was eager to talk to prosecutors and clear his name.

Britney's Back....I Guess

Depsite (or because of? Who the hell knows) her recent by-the-numbers performance and a half decent 'tell all' documentary special, Britney Spears' new album Circus, debuted at #1, selling 505,000 copies in its first week. Spears is only the artist to have four albums debut at the top of the charts with 500,000 or more copies sold.

While I've always been a casual fan of Brit at the most, I think the part of the reason people are chanting 'Britney's back' like choreographed zombies is because, for whatever reason, she's been heralded as heir to Madonna's throne (blasphemy!).

Truthfully I would nominate Pink or Christina Aguilera, who have continually reinvented themselves musically and visually over the years, and actually seem to have a say in their careers. Meanwhile, Britney's stayed on the 'I'm-so-hot-shaking-my thang-in-the-club-phase for pretty much her entire career. And while in the past you could at least count on ol' Brit to serve it up live, she just doesn't seem to have the fire in her eyes anymore. But hopefully she'll work her way back (I guess that's the optimist in me:).

Recommended Reading

For anyone who's ever struggled to reconcile their faith with their sexuality, Horace L. Griffin's Their Own Receive Them Not: African Americans Gays and Lesbians in Black Churches, is a must-read.

The book discusses everything, from the roots of black homophobia, the abysmal response of many black churches to the AIDS crisis, to analyzing the Sodom and Gomorrah story and the other scriptures used to condemn LGBT people and gay relationships. All of this definitely helped me when I was rethinking my attitudes towards my spirituality and sexuality. According to Amazon.com:

Griffin, an openly gay African American pastoral theologican and seminary professor, offers new approaches to understanding scripture and homosexuality through pastoal theology and black liberation theology. He provides a historical overview and crticial analysis of the black church and its current engagement with lesbian and gay Christians, and shares ways in which black churches can learn to reach out and confront all types of oppression no just race--in order to do the work of the black community. The book received a 2006 Lambda Literary Award for Gay Studies.

I've read the book multiple times, and recommend it to anyone trying to find their way out of the closet, or anyone whose just interested in the Bible and its history.

Good Hair, Bad Hair

You already know what I'm talking about. I'm sure every black person has at one point of their life heard phrases such as "Lakeisha know she got naps in that kitchen," "Gwarrl you got good hair," "That bald heffa' know that's a weave. Swinging that mess around like that's her own," or my personal favorite "I got Indian in my family."

After getting into several spirited debates with my man's cousin about why black folks' natural, kinky hair is bad and silky smooth relaxed hair is good, I decided to probe this subject further. Why are we as black people so hung up on hair?

Of course like anything else, our obssession with buying pound of packets of horse hair and relaxing those kinks has it roots in racism. Along with lighter skin and small waistlines, European culture idealized straight hair as beautiful and desirable, while African hair was seen as ugly and impossible to tame. Since slavery until the present, the results of this attitude have been felt.

Think about it: Every major black female celebrity, from Beyonce to MJB rocks weaves or uses relaxers. Every chick in a rap video has a 10 inch head of hair from the swap meet. Most of the iconic black hairstyles, with the obvious exception of the afro, are relaxed hairstyles. Hell even Frederick Douglas grabbed a hot comb every now and then. And those of us who grew up in the South know good and well that if a black women wants to get a good job, she better grab a Dark and Lovely box first.

Now personally I don't care if people wear their hair natural, straightened or wear weave. It doesn't negate their blackness or make them less "down." (I've been know to get a Dr. Miracle touch up now and then my damn self. I like to try new looks;). But what troubles me is the attitude that if black hair is not straightened and flat ironed to perfection, it's not beautiful or "good." I always hear "well straight is more manageable."

Well that's because you've been frying your scalp since you were nine and only know how to manage relaxed hair. If you grew your hair naturally, you'd learn how to take care of natural hair. Another argument is "black hair doesn't grow." Ever seen someone with dreads? It grows baby. You just have to take care of it.

My point is that dreads, twists, braids, and wavy curls can be just as beautiful, elegant and sophisticated as relaxed hair, and one style shouldn't be elevated above the other as an ideal of "real" blackness or beauty. Like Andre 3000 said, "Is every nigga with dreads for the cause? Is every nigga with golds for the fall? Naw so don't get caught up in appearance...."

Mike Huckabee Gets OWNED By John Stewart

All I can say is bra-fucking-vo. Stewart challenges all of Huckabees points with a well-thought out, articulate and calm point of view. Watch the clip below:

Conversations With My Mother: A Painful Realization

First a little background: while at home for the Thanksgiving holidays, I went to the doctor's office for a little checkup. After spending an inumberable amount of minutes filling out forms, I was summoned to the doctor's room for the usual round of questions and tests. The questioning, however, inevitably led to the subject of sexual activity.

After confirming my nighttime activities were with men(a fact I would've DIED before admitting a few years ago), the doctor suggested I have a HIV test along with the usual cholesterol test. Long story short, they took blood, I waited, the results came back negative. I didn't tell my parents because that would open a Pandora's Box of questions that I'm not ready to answer just yet.

Lo and behold, my mother calls me yesterday to ask why the bill they received contained a charge for a HIV test. I dance around her questions and explain it was more a preventitive measure than a request on my part. My mother and I have a strange way of talking about sensitive subjects, especially when it comes to my personal life. I've never gotten into a screaming match with her in my entire life. Instead we both talk in vague tones but still know exactly what the other is insinuating or talking about.

Anyways, she's satisfied (or so I thought) with my explanation and hangs up. This afternoon however, I get call while in our yearbook editor-in-chief's office. My mother explains she's been thinking about what we talked about all day. She again questions why the doctor recommended I take an HIV test and not her when she went for similar checkup. I explained it's probably because she's older and married, while we both dance around the elephant in the room--the fact I'm having sex--like the Jacksons under the threat of a beatdown by Papa Joe.

She then gives me all the reasons, biblically, financially and health-wise, why I should wait to have sex until marriage. I respond by saying marriage isn't a guarantee against contracting HIV, that unproctected sex is what causes infection and precautions such as condoms and taking HIV tests with partners. We then get on the subject of God and choices. She asks me, in no uncertain terms, if I think it was wise to have sex, and if God would approve. I say yes.

In that moment, I came to the realization I am not my parents. I think she sensed it too. I could hear a slight worry in her voice, that the little boy who used to lay in her lap in church and play with her necklace and pick flowers for her from the backyard was turning into someone she didn't recognize. A man whose views disagreed with her own, and whose ideas about God and homosexuality no longer matched the ones she and my dad believed and spent 18 years instilling in me and my brother.

We both sense, or at least I do, that things will soon come to a head regarding my sexuality. No more vague conservations and half-truths, but a full unveiling of my private life and relationships, past and present. A time to share the struggles I faced growing up, the times I felt alone, scared and anxiety-ridden. The moment when both my parents will see fully the man that they raised and the life I've made for myself. A time when I will have to accept that we'll agree to disagree on a fundamental part of who I am, even though they will still love me as their son.

I probably came to this realization years ago, but tucked it away in the dark recesses of my mind. Acknowledging that my parents, my entire family, with the exception of my brother, may never accept my sexualty or my relationships hits me to the very core of my personality. I've always been a people pleasure and had a desire to be liked and approved of by everyone, which is probably why I was so closeted for so long. I spent years racking my brain, running my entire childhood and adolesence in my head to figure the root cause of my being bi(I usually say gay because I'm more attracted to men than women, and get tired of explaining it to people) so that I could be 'cured' and be acceptable to everyone. After coming out, I would sometimes rack my brain to figure how to win people over, to make them accept my sexuality.

I now realize that may never happen with some folks--including my parents. But that doesn't make it any less painful.

Day Without A Gay

Don't forget that tomorrow, Dec. 1oth is Day Without A Gay (lol that sounds like some indie musical:). But seriously, this day is meant show how important LGBT folk are to America's economy and workforce. I understand everyone can't afford to take off work. Bills have to be paid and palms gotta be greased.

But there are other ways you can help:

1.Spread the word -Join the Facebook Group and invite friends. Email, phone calls, Facebook, MySpace, smoke signals—get the word out!

2. Help seek out and post volunteer oportunities in your area.

• Local Gay-Straight Alliance
  
• Trevor Project/Helpline
  
• SPCAs (Pet Rescues)
  
• Local PFLAG Chapter
  
• Nursing Homes
  
• HIV/AIDS Services
  
• Big Brothers/Big Sisters
  
• Homeless Shelters
  
• Gay & Lesbian Centers
  
• Meals on Wheels
  
• Rehab Centers
  
• Local Schools
  

3. Educate others about the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). Currently it's still legal in 30 states to fire someone because of their sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. ENDA would make it this illegal. Here are two sites to find out more:
National Gay & Lesbian Task Force: ENDA Info
ACLU ENDA Page

4. Contact your state representatives TODAY to voice your support for ENDA.
Contact your member of the HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES.
Contact your SENATORS.

5. Contact your state representatives TODAY to voice your opposition to prop 8 . Visit http://www.eqca.org/ for more info.

6. Boycott by not spending your money on anything accept the necessities. ( That's my plan).

*And if all else fails, just wear a rainbow cape encrusted with glittery dollar signs all day. People will get the message;)

Spotlight: Leyomi Mizrahi

Ever since I saw one of her videos on lovebscott.com, I have been hooked on Leyomi Mizrahi's vogue dramatics. This is chick is A BEAST! Wish I could've found a better pic though, lol. Get into the clips below:

Unemployment At A Record High....

Yea it's like that. The unemployment rate leaped from from 6.5 to 6.7 percent in November, with 553,000 jobs being cut, marking the 11th consecutive employment decline and the biggest one-month job loss since December 1974.

The news is even worse for black unemployment, which continues to increase at a higher rate than other races, with a jump from 11.1 to 11.2 percent this month. The unemployment rate among Asians stands the lowest at 4.8 percent, while white employment is 6.1 percent and Hispanic unemployment at 8.6 percent, according to U.S. Department Labor statistics.

Meanwhile The Big Three--Chrysler, General Motors, and Ford--continue to plead Congress for a $34 billion bailout to save the auto industry.

While President-elect Obama has adopted a "wait-and-see" , approach, his staff as been in touch with auto executives, industry sources said. One source suggested that the nature of these conversations was "informational ... about [our operation], how and where we spend ... our forward-looking goals," according to CNN.com.

The long-term outcome of an auto-industry bailout remains to be seen, so I think it's good the Obama administration is being proactive in dealing with the issue. Since the industry is connected to other businesses, such as part manufacturing companies, repair shops and transportation companies, a collaspe could have potentially dire economic consequences.

CNN-President-elect's team weighing auto industry options

The Daily Voice-Unemployment reaches 15-year high

Sexuality 101

Got a story to tell ya'. Like to hear it? Here it go. I was at the mall one day with two of my fag stags(for the uninitiated, that's straight guys:), when they spotted some girls they wanted to run game on. While they're babbling about the usual stuff (i.e. where you from, how old are you, what you school you go to, etc.) two of the girls reveal that they're lesbians.

Undeterred and perhaps emboldened by their revelation, visions of lesbian sex dancing in their hands, my friends soldiered on, while still honing in their other friend, who was straight. Anyways, one the girls examined my braids and asks me who does them.

When I say the words 'my boyfriend' you could've driven two 18 wheelers through their mouths. A flurry of responses and questions followed. "For real?" "You gay" "You lyin'." and my all-time favorite "You too pretty to gay."

Why do women, particularly black women, ALWAYS say that? I wanna know what kind of trolls they're hanging around because most of the gay guys I know are a lot of things, but ugly ain't one of 'em. But I digress. What tripped me out the most wasn't the questions, because I've heard them a thousand times, but that most of them were coming from one of the lesbians! She told me I should at least try a woman, and I'd changed my mind.

I wanted to say 'Girl, how are you gonna be deep sea diving in another girls' hotbox and turn around and imply that being gay is a choice?'. Not that being gay is all about sex, but you know what I mean.

Truth be told I really don't think that girl was truly a lesbian. She explained her reason for having a girlfriend was because she didn't trust boys(or something to that effect) and the fact she was asking questions to which she should already know the answer. At the very least she's probably bisexual.

Her girlfriend, pure butch through and through, only asked what was my boyfriend's name. *Sigh* I guess sometimes even "family" needs to be educated and illuminated.

Eye Candy:Nelly

Some new Sean Jean underwear ads of my supa-dupa rapper crush Nelly (sorry LL:) surfaced online this week. No doubt Nelly's sexy and the ads are hot, but where's the underwear? Enough jeans and sweatpants. I wanna see them cakes, LOL!

Prop 8-The Musical!

Yea, I know it's strange to see a musical post after I just ranted and raved about how my hatred of musicals. But this clip's hilarious and on point about the foolish reasoning of Prop 8 supporters.
Get into it:

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Video Game Movies

Hollywood sees dollar signs in almost anything, and video games are no exception. Here's a list of the video game flicks that make you love the game even more, or make you curse the day the developers put down the joysticks and picked up a script:

The Good

In 1995 Mortal Kombat was a cultural phenomenon, so it was only right that it be captured on celluloid. While it wasn't Oscar worthy material, Mortal Kombat was a great combination of action (The Scorpion and Johnny Cage fight scene was a beast:) and storytelling.

Resident Evil

Yeah I know the sequels weren't as good (when are they ever), but first Resident Evil flick was fire. I loved Michelle Rodriguez as the tough chick slaughtering zombies left and right, even though she to a bullet to the dome in the end. The movie also did a good job of staying close to the tone, if no the storyline of the Resident Evil games.

Silent Hill

In my opinion, Silent Hill is one of the best video game movies. An engrossing story, fantastic effects and insane death scenes (I remember the whole theater gasped in shock when that girl couldn't make it into the church in time and got her skin ripped off.) Good Times, lol.

The Bad

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

It was all good just a movie ago. Mortal Kombat Annihilation is one HOT MESS of a film from start to finish. First off whose idea was it to give Raiden, the f*cking god of thunder, a buzzcut? Second, who designed Baraka's mask? It looked like something you pick up for .99 cents next to the bootlegs at a gas station. Not to mention all the cheesy deaths and anti-climatic ending.


Street Fighter




















Another example of bad casting. Who decided Raul Julia should play the evil incarnate that is M. Bison? Bison is supposed to be larger than life (literally) and the embodiment of evil. I mean he killed my girl Chun-Li's dad for goodness sake. Besides that the movie, had no plot, too many characters and just plain sucked.


The Ambomination


Super Mario Bros.

Mention the words Super Mario Bros. movie to any self-respecting video game fan and watch as their face contorts into a mixture of horror and exasperation. Yes this movie was so bad that I haven't even needed to see it to know the travesty that takes place in those 90 minutes. Those faces don't lie. The Mushroom Kingdom is way too surreal for a live action flick, not to mention the fact that Princess Peach was dumped for Daisy instead. But I digress. Maybe in animated, 2-D world this movie could've been a classic. But that's the way the Yoshi cookie crumbles.

Warning to Studios: Don't Make These Games Into Movies

Zelda:Ocarina of Time

Star Fox

Metroid

Sonic(unless it's animated, LEAVE IT ALONE!)

Random News and Notables

I've been gone for minute now I'm back with some new posts (get into the Lil' Kim reference lol:). Anyways on with the show:

Florida's Gay Adoption Ban Declared Unconstitutional




Finally some good news. After the passage of Prop 8 and other anti-gay laws on Nov. 4, and the ensuing storm of finger pointing that followed, Miami Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman ruled Tuesday that a "Florida man's sexual orientation should not preclude him from adopting his two foster children, effectively ruling unconstitutional a decades-old state law barring gays and lesbians from adopting children.," according to The Advocate's website.

The two young boys were previously living in an abusive home with crack-addicted parents before being removed by child services.

Hilary Clinton Nominated as Secretary of State
I just knew that girl would find a way back into the White House. President-elect Barack Obama announced Clinton as his choice for Secretary of State. Despite a campaign that sometimes seemed to bring out the worst in his former rival, Obama said he was confident Clinton was right for the job.

"Hillary's appointment is a sign to friend and foe of the seriousness of my commitment to renew American diplomacy and restore our alliances," Obama said at a news conference in Chicago, Illinois. "I have no doubt that Hillary Clinton is the right person to lead our State Department and to work with me in tackling this ambitious foreign policy agenda."

Black Friday Turns Deadly

An employee was killed in a stampede as rush of customers smashed into a Long Island Wal-Mart on Friday. A 28-year old pregnant woman was also knocked to the floor, but did not suffer any serious injuries.

This is the epitome of a senseless tragedy. I hope the new plasma screens and i-pods were worth a human life.

The Advocate: Florida's Gay Adoption Ban Ruled Unconstitutional

Huffington Post: Black Friday Stampede Kills Worker at Wal-Mart

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I hope you have great holiday with family and friends (or if you friends are your family both). I'll resume posting on Monday.

World Aids Day

December 1st is World AIDS Day, a day where people around the world come together to raise awareness about the devestation caused by the global AIDS epidemic. While many strides have been made since the epidemic first started in the early 80's, there's still a lot to do.

Ways to Get Involved:

1. GET TESTED

2. Encourage friends and family to get tested

3.Educated youself and others about AIDS and other STDs.

To find out how to get involved in other ways, visit http://www.worldaidscampaign.org/en/Get-Involved.

New Music Review: Kanye West "808's and Heartbreak"

To the average rap fan, it looks like Kanye West has lost his mind. After spending three albums establishing himself as a credible MC (although he's still no Rakim or Andre 3000 on the mic), Ye' ditched rhyming for singing, picked up an Auto-Tune, the current scourge of rap, and abandoned his College Dropout theme(for the uninitiated, this album was supposed to be Good Ass Job). Top all that off with his current Half-Pint glasses wearing, knatty suit and Captain Ahab beard look, and you have a recipe for a falling off of epic proportions.

If first single "Love Lockdown" was any indication, Late Registration this ain't. 808's and Heartbreak more than lives up to its title, as booming basslines collide with other-wordly samples and strings to provide a fresh canvas for West to spin tales of love drama and regret.

"My friend showed me pictures of his kids/And all I could show him were pictures of my cribs/ He said his daughter got a brand-new report card/And all I got was a brand-new sportscar," West sings in "Welcome To Heartbreak." No longer the fame-hungry new kid on the block, West now seems all too aware of the downsides of stardom. "Do you think I sacrificed a real life/For all the fame and flashing lights," Wests asks in "Pinocchio Story" the live freestyle that closes the album. Now in his early 30's the Louis Vitton Don seems to looking inward, questioning if it was all worth it. Bragging and ego-trips are few and far between.

Heartbreak, both romantic and otherwise, is another recurring theme. "Didn't you know i was waiting on you/Waiting on a dream that'll never come true," West sings in "Bad News" one of several tracks detailing the dark side of love. "Tell every one that you know/That i dont love you no more," he growls on "See You in My Nightmares," while in "Robocop," West fires off sardonic lines at a neurotic girlfriend hell bent on knowing his every move.

Undoubtedly the death of West's mother Donda West influenced the album's subject matter, and serves as inspiration for "Coldest Winter." Backed by sparse instrumentation and tribal drumbeats, West questions whether he can ever love again and ponders past actions. "If spring can take the snow away/Can it melt it away all our mistakes."

While the album's emotional honesty makes it a compelling listen, West could've done more with the tracks. Some come across as too flat and don't match West's dynamic delivery. Other tracks, such as "Say You Will" lumber on for too long and disrupt the album's flow. And does Lil' Wayne have to be on everyone's album this year. I mean did 'Ye really pay $75,000 for that verse? Also it wouldn't have hurt to have dropped at least a couple of 16's.

These complaints aside, with 808's and Heartbreak, West drops the bravado and endless boasting to deliver his most personal and revealing work.


3.5/5

Tales of A Twenty Something: Reflections on My 22nd Birthday

Yay, today's my birthday! LOL!

Yes today marks 22 years of life for me. Of course I plan to do the usual things (accept gifts, go out all night with friends, see family), but I'm also reflective on this b-day(hence the title).

As I laid in bed last night, I thought about just how far I've come. Four years ago, at 18, I was not excited about college and the future, and didn't have any sort of dreams or ambitions for myself. I was lonely, sad and closeted. I had no sense of my own identity, but simply shapeshifted my personality to the desires of what friends, family, church and God (I thought) wanted for me.

Add to that some heavy daily weed usage and you have the depressed, hot mess that was me.

One day something shifted though. One night, alone and thinking about my life in my dorm room, I realized that I could not name one person in my life who I was being completely honest with, who I showed my true self to. I had built up a wall of sarcasm and secrey so thick that no could see who I was.

Since that day of realization, I embarked on a journey of intense introspection and discovery.

I met and befriended other gay folks who were comfortable with themselves and secure in their sexuality, came out to close straight friends and got into endless fights (let's call them discussions:) about why my 'choice' wasn't one and why I wasn't going to burn in hell. Knots in my stomach churned as I told my brother who merely shrugged and said "Ok." I also had my first serious relationship, discovered the torture of long distance love, and gave up the ganga ghost.

Most importantly I finally began to truly seek my own relationship with God by re-examining my faith and everything I had been raised to believe about homosexuality, and read things that challenged my ideas and ultimately caused me to think critically about what I had been taught, and realize my views are just as valid as anyone else's. Calmness and clarity began to replace feelings of anxiety and desperation, as I tore down the walls I had spent most of my adolesence building.

As I sit here typing this however, neither me or my life is perfect. When I told my mother, she reacted the way I expected her to: she felt this was something that could be prayed away, and eventually God would make the heterosexual family man I was born to be. I was prepared for her reaction, but still saddened that her beliefs couldn't allow her to see the man I truly am. And I still haven't told my father or extended family members.

There are still moments when I find myself wanting to revert to old closet behaviors, like when someone asks me who braids my hair (my current boyfriend does:) or asks if I'm seeing anyone special. There are still moments when I find myself desiring others' approval. Unlearning 18 years (I came out at 19) of closet case behavior doesn't happen overnight, but I'm making progress.

At 22, my life isn't everything I want it to be yet, but it's light years away from what it once was. I have a desire now to not just survive, but LIVE.

For anyone who is where I was, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it for you: coming out is not easy. It's often awkward and uncomfortable, and you not always get the response you want. But in the end it's one of the most rewarding things you can do. Make sure you find people who will support you in your journey, and remember that only person who has to live your life is YOU. So you might as well be happy while you do it.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today marks the 10th anniversary of Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day in which we remember trangendered people who have been murdered because of their gender identity or expression.

For those not in the know, a little Transgender 101: Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe people whose gender identity(sense of themselves as male or female) or gender expression differs from that usually associated with their birth sex. Many transgender people live part-time or full-time as members of the other gender.

With the recent murder of Lateisha Green, a 22-year old transgendered woman, this event becomes even more poignant. While gays, lesbians and bisexuals certainly suffer discrimination and sometimes violence, transgenders face violence and prejudice not only from the straights, but sometimes from gays as well.

In addition antidiscrimination laws in most U.S. cities and states do not protect transgender people from discrimination based on gender identity or expression. While many of us cannot imagine what it must be like to feel that you were born in the wrong body, that's no excuse for hatred or ignorance.

The best weapon is education. To find out more information on transgender issues you go to www.apa.org/pi/lgbc/transgender

Rants and Raves: I Hate Musicals

Yea I said it. I don't like them. I know, as a gay dude I'm supposed to have the soundtrack to Rent memorized and be ready to burst into a Hairspray dance routine at a moment's notice, but I just never got into the whole thing.

It's not like I haven't tried to activate my musical loving gene. It's just all that SINGING AND DANCING. West Side Story for example. The two rival gangs spent half the time singing and dancing around about how's 'There's gonna be a fight' (or something like that), when all that valuable time could've been spent, I don't know, fighting! Seriously after five minutes you either need to shank someone or invite them to do a duet since you feel like sangin' so much.

This fear of campiness and over-enuciated singing has even kept me from seeing Evita (and anyone who' knows me knows I'm a massive Madonna fan). Yes even Madge herself couldn't break my will.

Of course there are exceptions. I can tolerate Grease and loved Dreamgirls (although I've heard some people say there was too much dialogue for it to be true a musical), and I get down with some Disney tunes (but that's just a trait of being alive:). I can also appreciate theatricality in concerts. Maybe because it's just compliment to the music and the artist, and not a full-on sing and dance attack.

Anyways, needless to say I won't be singing 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' from my apartment balcony anytime soon.

Random News and Notables

Ex-Military Officials Want To End "Don't Ask Don't Tell"

More than 100 retired military leaders have signed an agreement to end the military's current "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy towards LGBT service members. Retired Adm. Charles Larson, the formal Naval Academy superintendent who originally supported the policy in 1993, has done a 180 on his position.

"There were a lot of witch hunts and a lot of people were turned out on that basis," he is quoted as saying in a Palm Center release. Other servicemen, such as retired Sgt. Brian Jones, disagree.

"Allowing homosexuality in the military would cause unnecessary sexual tension and disruptions to good order, morale, discipline and unit cohesion," Jones said. "This would erode the very qualities of military service that presently appeal to potential recruits."

News flash Sgt. Jones. Homosexuality is already in the military. I'm sure there were some queens serving right beside you during your time in the army, and I seriously doubt that in the middle of battle with bullets flying and grenades exploding, a gay private is going to be thinking "Damn, Lieutenant Dan's Hot."

Over the course of the Iraq War, many qualified soldiers have been dismissed simply because of their sexuality. That's just not right. Period.

Obama, McCain Meet To Discuss Reform

President-elect Barack Obama and former rival John McCain met today to discuss how leaders can come together and "change the bad habits of Washington."

In a joint statement both men expressed their desire together on various challenges facing the nation:



At this defining moment in history, we believe that Americans of all parties want and need their leaders to come together and change the bad habits of Washington so that we can solve the common and urgent challenges of our time," the statement said.


"It is in this spirit that we had a productive conversation today about the need to launch a new era of reform where we take on government waste and bitter partisanship in Washington in order to restore trust in government, and bring back prosperity and opportunity for every hardworking American family," they said.


Michael Jackson Sued By Sheikh

An Arab monarch's son is suing Jackson for $7 million for an autobiography and album that he claims Jackson promised but never produced. Michael denies the charges and says the money was gift.

Hopefully everything will work out and Michael won't be in the poor house. In the future he better hit up Janet, Latoya or Rebie for money instead of Arab princes. Goodness knows Joe and the boys don't have a lot of coins to spare these days, if the news reports are true

Wanda Sykes Comes Out

Comedian Wanda Sykes suprised a Las Vegas audience when she announced she was a lesbian and had married her wife in California last month.

While she has been silent about her sexual orientation over the years, Sykes said she felt the need to come out because of the recent passage of Proposition 8.

"I felt like I was being attacked, personally attacked -- our community was attacked," she reportedly told the crowd, according to an account in Sunday's New York Times.

While other gay-celeb admissions are hardly a shock, this is one of the times where I've actually been suprised by a celebrity coming out story(of course my gaydar is mostly guy-specific:). Whatever her reason, good for Wanda for speaking out, and having the courage to be one of the few openly gay black celebrities in Hollywood. Now if only a certain famous black rapper-singer-actress admitted what we already know....

The Daily Voice: Comedian Wanda Sykes Says She's Proud To Be Gay