Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Baddest Video Game Chicks

I know that gaming is not a ubiquitous part of the gay experience, but for the rainbow children that do partake, you've undoubtedly developed a fascination with one of the women featured below, particularly the ones of the 'fighting' game genre. *Warning: what you're about to read is extremely geeky.*

Chun Li




Admit it. While your boys where busy doing Hadokens with Ryu and Ken, you were perfecting your spinning upside down kicks with this fierce fighter from China. And possibly taking mental notes of her costumes for future drag performances:). If there was a Chicks Who Kick Ass Hall Of Fame, this gurl would be in it. Visual proof below:



Kitana





Those fans. Those fans. Those fans. Mortal Kombat's creators must've known they were unleashing a gargantuan pink neon sign to a legion of young gay boys when they thought up the princess of the Outworld's best known attack. I mean this bitch could cut anyone down to the ground with one quick swipe of her deadly metallic cutters, then throw it her opponent like a sadistic geisha. Mileena was cool (my gurl could attack with the quickness with her rolls and air kicks) but Kitana was a beast.




Orchid



Any girl that can fight while wearing stilettos deserves a spot on this list. While Orchid seemed to change races between Killer Instinct and its sequel Killer Instinct Gold (is it me or did she look a helluva lot like blacker on KI Gold?), what didn't change was her arsenal of ass kicking techniques. Babay, Orchid could transform into a gold, flaming tiger, shoot you with an energy blast or finish your ass off with a 32-hit combo. Or if she felt like it, kill you softly with a flash of her cleavage. Lawd knows I would've burst into flames if I'd seen them goodies. Not to mention that a bitch won both of the tournaments.




Storm




I know, I know. Technically Storm is a comic book chick, but she's been in enough games to qualify for this post. Plus I just love HER. Ororo Munroe is a goddess lol. She can annihilate an opponent with whatever element she feels like summoning. Wanted to fry your opponent to death with a quick lightning strike? Storm could do it. Felt like blowing them away with a typhoon? No problem. Or did you just feel like being a cold-ass bastard and freeze them into oblivion? Storm's got you covered. The bitch is as versatile as a slab of drumsticks.




Samus



Oh you didn't know Metroid's lead character was a woman? Well you betta ask somebody because Samus is built for subterranean, netherworld battles. And unlike the other ladies on this list, she wasn't always an ensemble character; Samus had her own game series way before Lara or Ms. Jill Valentine. But it wasn't until Smash Brothers that we truly learned that Samus don't play.




If there was ever an ultimate fighting game made (meaning it was Mortal Kombat Vs. Street Fighter Vs. Capcom Vs. Marvel Vs. SNK Vs. Killer Instict Vs. Nintendo) this would be my A-Team. Do you have any favorite video game chicks?

Honorable Mentions: Sindel, Lara Croft, Jill Valentine, Morrigan, Psylocke, Rogue, Ibuki, Kim Wu, Jade, Sonya Blade

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