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| Kayleigh the day after she was needlessly shot. |
It has been hard to go home. The house doesn't feel like a home without Kayleigh's energy and presence there. She isn't there to greet me at the door with her tail wagging 90 to nothing. There are no good night kisses from that long tongue that someone had the most sophisticated radar system in the world, hitting the lips 99% of the time no matter how much I tried to break her from that habit.
I have been contacted this week by so many friend whose lives where touched by her. As I shared stories through the internet about Kayleigh, people who had never met this wonderful spirit cried as they followed the entries from the time I shared that some soulless person shot her in the chest. They prayed with me for her recovery and watched hopefully each day as I updated entries.
In the end, I believe Kayleigh knew her time on earth was coming quickly to an end. I realized upon bringing her home that she just wanted a few more hours of getting her belly rubbed, her hind legs scratched, her head patted, and of course the beautiful surrounding of the country fields and the forests I introduced her to after removing her from her city life in Chicago. I think she wanted to come home to be with me. She needed to know that I would be okay.
In those final days, those familiar eyes that met mine with such dedication hoping for affirmations looked down to the ground--timid and lethargic. They met mine only twice after taking her home two and a half days after I found her near death and rushed her to the pet hospital.
After bringing her home on Monday, I decided to seek a second opinion on her health. I drove to another vet. Kayleigh loved to ride in the car and she hated getting left in the car, which was usually a battle to keep her in the car. When we got to the vet's office, she didn't want to get out. I got the feeling she was telling me no more poking and prodding, but of course I didn't want to believe that because we had gotten past the critical 48 hour mark. She jumped back and forth for seat to seat, and when I folded down one of the seats, she went under it and pushed it up with her head locking it in place. She gave me an "I win" look.
The final time was when she was dying in my lap. I looked down at her and told her I wasn't going to be selfish anymore and that it was okay for her to go as I stroked her beautiful head between her brown floppy ears. She looked up at me at that moment for a minute as she was clearly suffering. She then stood up one final time, choked, tried to cough it up, and collapsed dead. I doubt I see anything anymore painful than that in my lifetime.
I have spoken to a lot of dog owners who I know had similar relationships with their dogs. My friend Leon Edmonds lost his dog Chaos after years of dedication to each other. He said he was miserable for three weeks and it wasn't getting better. He described his house without Chaos and it felt like mine, you don't even want to be there.
As I remember those last days with Kayleigh, I believe she wanted to be there for me to help me find peace with the inevitable. Knowing this, I don't think Kayleigh wants me to mope and be unhappy, so on Saturday, I dropped by Canines and Cats, a no-kill shelter in Ozark, Missouri, and decided to give a few dogs someone to play with for a couple hours and see if there was a dog that I could save from the shelter in honor of Kayleigh.
As I watched Kayleigh over the last year as we hiked and enjoyed a country existence, I always believed we had at least five good years left. She was healthy and energetic and as she approached her eighth birthday, she showed no signs in slowing down. In fact, she was enjoying life more than ever. Since I was prepared to pamper and spoil her into her golden years, I shouldn't let that enthusiasm die with her.
After talking to a few people, I have decided to save a dog and give that dog a great life. I have found two that I think are compatible, and if I could I would probably try to save them all. I have such a big heart of dogs. I can't, so I have to make a tough decision with puppy dog eyes are demanding my attention with Donkey's (Shrek) enthusiasm. Pick me! Pick me!
It breaks my heart to have found out many of these dogs are in their second year of living at the shelter and are looking for good homes. So in honor of Kayleigh, I am going to adopt an older dog, like Mark Levin, the famous radio host did with Sprite.
I don't expect this dog to be a replacement for Kayleigh. Those are tough shoes to fill. I just want to spread the joy of Kayleigh's life to a pet that needs a home and deserves a better life.
So with that said, let me introduce to you to the two dogs that I enjoyed and could share that love with.
Meet Valerie
Valerie is very loving and playful and wanted lots of attention and was affectionate in return when given attention. She's a beautiful dog, but I do worry this climate is too warm for her and might not enjoy hiking with me in the warmer months.
Maverick
Maverick is sweet, playful, and of course familiar. I purposely put off meeting him just because I wanted to give other dogs a fair chance to show me their personal side. He is a yellow lab just like Kayleigh, so you can understand why I hesitated a little in offering my friendship, but he was the most playful and energetic and it felt comfortable to be near him. He even got a ride in the convertible to see how he would do.
I will be going back to the shelter in a few minutes to enjoy more time with these two dogs and others later this morning. I just feel at this time the best way to honor Kayleigh is to offer a dog in need the love I planned to share with her over the next few years as she aged gracefully.
In honor of Kayleigh, I ask anyone looking for a new friend to look at a shelter like Canines 'n Cats and consider giving one of these animals a loving home. If you can't do that, at least consider a donation.
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