Top Ten Things Congressman Billy Long is Thinking During Congressional Debates

The voices inside of Congressman Long's head speak...

10. "I wonder if they have liposuction for necks. I would sure like to have a neck again."

9. "I saw that movie Rainman. I bet I could get the national debt paid off if they gave me a billion to head Downstream with."

8. "Read bills. I ain't got no time to read bills. Have you seen all the casinos, buffets, and strip clubs on the East Coast?"

7. "I hate those bloggers. I really hate those bloggers."

6. "Nobody shoves Billy Long in a corner. Ah, wait a minute, DONUTS."

5. "I should send the FBI after Keith Olbermann for making fun of me and telling me I should resign. Resign... Those people actually bought into my fed up acting."



4. "I hate those bloggers. I really hate those bloggers."

3. "Hmm, I wonder what Nancy Pelosi looks like under that pant suit. I sure would like to find out."

2. "I wonder if they are servin' fried tators in the House Cafeteria today."

1. "Only four more years of dodging tough questions and I am eligible for federal retirement and health benefits. I wonder how long I can keep "fed up" going for. Just two more election cycles, two more election cycles..."